Lately, I’ve been having this insecurity problem. Kinaiinggitan ko ang certain someone for fulfilling what I wanted to fulfill. Tapos heto ako ingget at tinatamad nang gampanan ang mga gusto kong mafulfill. (Walang fulfillment sa hindi pagfulfill ng iyong nais ifulfill. Huwaatt?)

Ang babaw no? Alam ko naman dapat di maging insecure. At lalo nang dapat hindi maging tamad dahil lang nauna sya sa akin? Dammit! Snap out of it! Mas masaklap kaya ang nararamdaman mo to pero alam mong ang babaw. Being fully aware, that you’re dragging yourself down. Di mo sya masisi as one of those stupid mistakes along the way. You watch yourself alive but rotting and not lifting a finger about it. Aray!

Nyornyornyor…

Having a job should have made it easier. But as of the moment, my job sucks. Well the project anyway. I’m part of a infrastructure team who’s doing a system overhaul on one of our clients. Get this, I’m doing PHP. Anuvah! C++ programmer ako almost all my life. Buti na nga at minsan nagpopop-up si Tinabeybs with C++ questions. (at least nawiwili ako.)

Asa na nga ako ulit? O right, in-se-cu-ri-ties.

Anyway, I have too much to do with so little time (kase kelangan ko ring mag-allocate ng time sa katamaran). Kaya ang dami tuloy ang hindi natatapos kase ang dami kong ginagawa. Haayy. Nyornyornyor…

I should quit my job. I can’t wait to be a housewife. Pero feeling ko marami rin akong maiisip gawin kaya it’s not exactly a solution. I still want to be a programmer/system engineer. Pero C++ talaga ang true love ko! (Like I said, quality code turns me on. Aw!)

Hmm. Errr. San na nga ulit?

I’m obviously ranting kase wala nang pinatutunguhan tong blog na itech. Sa ngayon, di ko nga alam kong ipopost ko to o hindi. Masyadong magulo at masyadong nyornyor.

Anyway, para matapos na. Sabihin ko na lang na nagdecided na tapusin na tong insecurities na ito. Quarter life crisis lang ito. Wahahahaha! It ended with one sentence.

Gabby: hihi.. by the way, someone (me) thinks you rock.

Waaahh. Naiyak ako dun. Salamat Gabby! You rock too! Maasahan ka talaga sa mga moments na gusto kong magpalaki ng ulo. (And I needed it this time).

Tapos na ang nyornyor. On with my life, at simulan ko na nga ulit yung mga gusto kong gawin sa buhay. Magready na kayo sa mga signature sheets nyo. Coz I’m gonna be freaking famous when all of this is over.

Ciao!

Note: This is an impromptu nyornyor blog. Any misspelling or incorrect grammar found and noted on in Tagalog, English or in Gay Lingo will be chewed, spitted and shoved up your a$$ to your esophagus. Bow! Thank you for reading my blog. Good day.